New wife to the Army Life?

I met a great lady about a month ago at my kids Tae Kwon Do class. She had seen my husband in his Army uniform, so she knew I was military. One day, as she says, she got up the nerve to talk to me. She is painfully shy and had seen me for several weeks before striking up a conversation.

She is a mother of 4 children, all ages 6 and under. She is 41 years old and her husband just joined the Army a year ago. After he went through basic training he went to AIT (army school), and then they got stationed here in Colorado. Two months after they arrived, he was deployed to Iraq for a year.

By the time she introduced herself to me she had been here 4 months and really had no idea what is available to her, or anything at all about the Army. Talk about culture shock! When I married my husband, he had been in the Army for 6 years already. I knew nothing, but at least he did and we didn't have any children yet so it was just me I had to worry about whenever we moved. She not only is in a strange place, but she has 4 kids knows nothing about this strange life we call The Army.

So after briefly talking to her, I asked her for her phone number and email and I told her I was going to get her some more information. I spent about a week emailing back and forth and that gave her a good start. The Army has several helpful programs for new families: You can request a sponsor when you get to a new duty station. It is the sponsors job to come over and meet you, and give you lots of information about the area, and the Army Post you are living on.

There are also Family Readiness Groups (FRG). The FRG is extremely important especially when your husband is deployed because they are your link to what is going on in country (Iraq in this case). They hold monthly meetings and it is a good way to meet others in your spouses unit. Sometimes the FRG gets a bad rap for being a gossip center, but I have always found it comforting to be in touch with them. I was a coordinator when my husband was in Iraq and again when he came home. It's a volunteer job and needless to say not all FRG's are created equal but I'm a big supporter of them.

Then I let her know about militaryonesource.com, which is the place to go. They are 24/7 organization put in place by the Federal Government since the wars started. It is free to all military families and they can be of great help. They do everything from giving you a packet of information on the area you are moving, to getting you free counseling sessions if you or your kids need it. They also now have online classes for the military spouse which help teach you about the Army, including the world of acronyms!

There is federal funding available for spouses to get certification/training in portable careers. I believe it's up to $4000 in schooling. Many sports/activity programs for kids, including a hourly daycare center. That comes in really handy if you have a doctors appointment or you just need to go rest for two hours. When your husband is deployed you really need some alone time!

As I was helping my new friend navigate this new world, she was starting to feel better about the entire thing. She had no idea who her FRG person was and no one had contacted her,(that's not supposed to happen). So after about 2 weeks of not getting anywhere with that, I made a call to my husband and asked for his help. He found out who her husbands Battalion Commander was and emailed him to let him know about the situation. She received several calls by the next day. The Army takes these programs very seriously, and if someone falls through the cracks it will be rectified immediately. The commanders are all evaluated on their FRG programs, so it's a big deal.

I guess what I learned from this experience is that I have become so used to the Army lifestyle that I know where to go to get an answer that I don't have, but I've been reminded that it's a scary world for a new military spouse. It truly is a different world. Once you're in it, you don't realize that no one outside the military knows what you are talking about. I used to tell my husband to "speak English" when we were first married and that's exactly how my friend feels.

I have also realized that I love the Army and all it has to offer. There are really tough times and lots of sacrifice for sure, but overall I love it. It's not for everyone, but I feel great about helping someone get to know the great things the Army has to offer, and really does have a lot to offer families. So let's all try and help out our new families, because we all had to go through that transition at some point, and it's much easier with help! I had great people along the way help me and I want to pay it forward!