When a Soldier Cries

I was on my way to visit one of my oldest and dearest friends who now lives in New Jersey. My husband took 5 days leave from work, and I was off to have a vacation from my crazy life and jump into my friends very exciting life for a week. So you can imagine my spirits were soaring as I'm waiting near my gate at the airport.

I saw several soldiers in uniform sitting with their wives. This means they are most likely headed back to a deployment in Iraq or Afghanistan somewhere. If they were on vacation with their wives, they wouldn't be in uniform. So in a moment I was taken back to my husbands 18 month deployment to Iraq in 2003-2005.

Being an Army wife, you feel connected to all of the other wives and family members of soldiers. It's hard to explain the connection, but you can actually look at them saying goodbye to their soldier, and you feel their pain. The soldiers board the plane first. And as I'm standing there watching the women hug their soldiers goodbye, I can hardly stand it. Here I am off to get a vacation from my family, and they have to say goodbye to theirs. It's a mixture of guilt, sadness, and sympathy.

After the soldiers give their boarding passes to the attendant, they turn around for one last look and wave. It's hard to see a soldier cry. They are tough, so to see them so fragile, so human makes everyone in the airport cry.

I am starting to tear up and I have to look away. I see the women crying as they turn to leave the airport. One woman had a toddler with her, and I wanted to run up and hug her. I almost did, but I thought I might really freak her out, or start to have my own PTSD moment and send her over the edge. I stood their silently looking at her and wanting to hug her and make it better for her.

One of the many sad things about having your soldier in a war zone, is that no one can make you feel better about that. Friends can try and offer support, and try to understand what you're going through, but when all is quiet at the dinner hour, and you are home alone, or with your children, you are just a lonely worried Army wife and mother.

I had a fantastic time on my vacation to New York, but I spent much of the time in the city reflecting on why we are in these wars in the first place. Being in New York City where it all started on United States soil, and seeing the affects it is still having on the families of the Military puts everything in my life in perspective. Hats off to our soldiers, and the families who love them!