Friday, October 14, 2011

In Service Day

It has been way to long since I have blogged, but today it was more of a necessity than a want. Today is a State Wide In Service Day, which means the kids are out of school. I decided that I would schedule all three of their hair cuts with my friend Adrianne. Then I thought I would take my oldest to get a new pair of shoes since he is growing like a weed. Then, in the back of my head I thought it would be nice if we all went out to lunch, and headed to Costco for a much needed trip before we went home.

Well all of that may seem like too much for one day, but I was confident my kids could handle it, after all they didn't have school today. I was not only in some sort of dream land, but way the Hell off my rocker!!!

The haircuts went great ,and they got to see their friends. Then it was off to the Van's outlet store. Ella and Ryan were chasing around the store, and after no success in getting them to stop I had them sit in a "time out". The workers at the store kept asking if I needed anything, to which I replied, "well my kids in daycare would be good". True story.

Then since it was buy one pair of shoes get one half off, I decided to see if any shoes fit Ella. Ryan just got a new pair the other day and didn't need them, however that didn't stop him begging and trying to get his shoes off to "just try them on". After it was apparent that the shoes Ella wanted were too big and she could barely walk in them, I decided to just get the one pair for Aubrey. Well surprise surprise, that didn't go over well for Ella who was starting to cry and beg for new shoes.

I kept apologizing for assaulting the clerks' ears and I said, and I quote, "this right here......this is birth control". They didn't have kids, and I'm sure were looking at me like "get it together lady", however they were very sweet and didn't judge......they probably did once I left, but still I appreciated that they were nice to my face! But I digress. So as we are leaving and Ella is now sobbing, and Ryan is crying because he wants to ride on the "ride" outside the store, I calmly tell them to just head to the car.

I try to explain to them that I wanted to take them to lunch and then Costco, but how that's NOT going to happen, they just hollered and sobbed louder. So I did what only a crazy wife can do and I called the husband! He said, "what is going on there". I explained that this is just my life and this is what it sounds like, and what freakin fun I was having!!! He said, "it sounds like it". I know he feels bad for me sometimes, but I think secretly he's very happy it's me and not him. So I asked him if he would be home at a reasonable hour so I could get to Costco later, because as he could hear, I was in no place to go right then.

Then my oldest son, who mysteriously is behaving himself, says, "mom, I feel sorry for you". And I said, "I feel sorry for me too Aubrey". So the rest of the way home the crying went on and I just turned the radio up and tried some Zen calming techniques.....like pretending I"m on an island somewhere, breathing deeply, trying to tell myself that they will grow up and move OUT one day.

I am proud of myself for how I handled it today, I didn't yell, fly off the handle, or drive off a bridge. I explained to them (once the crying got softer), that I was extremely disappointed in their behavior and that we would not be going out to lunch, but going home to eat lunch there and then it was to bed for Ella and Ryan. Ella doesn't nap anymore, but since she's up at all hours of the night and got up early this morning I knew she was tired.

So here I am blogging my day and it's not even half over yet! The good news is it's quiet in here and two of the three kids are in bed and my oldest is riding his bike! I'm living the dream I tell you, living the dream!

PS Yesterday after school, I took them to the Halloween store, where Ryan started crying, saying he was scared, and then Ella started in, so we waited in the foyer for the oldest to look around for five minutes. Then they wanted pizza for dinner to which I caved because I had a sewing class last night. While waiting for the pizza the kids were begging me for a quarter so they could play the pinball game and "win" a superball. I said no 10 times.......then a man walks in with his kid and promptly plunks not one, but two quarters in the machine. Aubrey crosses his arms, and has a fowl look on his face and says, "look mom, that guy just put in the money and the kid didn't even have to ask".....I busted up laughing and said "yes son I am a terrible mother"......hahaha. I guess all this blogging is helping me laugh at these ridiculous situations my kids put me in daily!!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Reason I take my kids out in public

Today I had an epiphany. It was sometime during my trip to Kohl's with my three kids, that I realized the reason I take them out in public........to give me material to blog about.

My day started off normally, I dropped Aubrey & Ella off at school and headed to the grocery store. I had stayed up until 11pm the night before carefully making a shopping list. When I arrived at the store I had to use the bathroom, so Ryan and I walked all the way to the opposite corner of the store to the restroom. Then I realized I didn't have my grocery list, so all the way back to the car we go. No list to be found, so I decided to wing it and just get the damn groceries.

Ryan and I get home and unload groceries, but one of my bags has a leak. It was one of the boxes of vegetable broth, there was a small puncture hole, and it was leaking everywhere. So back to the store we go to get another one.........ugh! Then it's off to pick Ella up from Preschool. Then there is the usual, lunch, naps, laundry, all the things that remind me that "I'm living the dream". Then back to pick up Aubrey from school.

Since I wanted to get an outfit for my husbands Change of Command ceremony next week, I decide to just go for it and make a quick stop at Kohl's. I had a talk with all three kids before we even went into the store. I warned them that they had to behave because it was a nice store and "not Chuckie Cheese". Sometime during this "shopping experience" I realized I had made a big mistake.

I took away TV, and told them bedtime was to be at 7, and none of this stopped the screaming, bickering, climbing on the floor, well you get the idea. I'm sure I am the best ad for birth control that there is when I am out in public with my kids. Many of the women were glaring at me like I needed a visit from Supernanny, and tonight I have to agree!

Once we got home I realized that the sales lady forgot to take off the security tag that will spray ink all over my new blouse if I tamper with it.........so back to the torture chamber I go again tomorrow!

I did take away TV and the attached video is how creative they were without it. And I also had my oldest write 25 sentences when he got home stating that he would not act up in a store again! Ella had to go to her room, and they all went to bed at 7PM! No joke!



video

Monday, March 28, 2011

The last two months


Oh Blog how I've missed you. It has been so long since I've written. I guess that's just the cold hard reality of being an Army wife and mother of three. My husband was at yet, another "Army School" for 8 weeks. One would think that I would really need to blog during that period of time, but atlas I was so exhausted from the daily routine, school drop off/pickups, doctor appointments, snow days, home repairs dinner, bath, & bedtime, that there was really no energy left to write.

I'm sure I've missed many blogging opportunities during that 8 week period, like when my oldest son Aubrey threw himself on the lawn outside my parents house screaming about something that wasn't fair, and when I tried to grab his arm and guide him into the car, and he then screamed at the top of his lungs that I was hurting him. I'm sure all the neighbors had their hand on their phones to call 911.

Ella (4) had a few moments of drama herself. If I asked her to pick up her toys, shoes, or clothes, she would proclaim (hand on hip), "why do I have to do everything?", to which I would reply "that's why I had so many kids, to do everything"!

My baby Ryan, now 2 1/2 is regularly cracking me up, but also regularly having all out stomping, screaming fits. He doesn't discriminate between home, and say the grocery store. If he wants to throw a fit, he's going to throw it. He now quotes his older brother and says "one more chance mommy". It's so darn cute but also so hard when the 2 year old says 8 year old things.

Yes, there were many lost blogging opportunities, but one thing is for sure. It's really hard to be the mom and dad and have some sense of normalcy. The kids really miss Wyatt when he is gone, but they are handling it like troopers. I have to acknowledge that they miss their dad, but also not let them use that as an excuse to get away with bad behavior.....a very tight rope to walk.

Through the good and the bad, I'm so very thankful for them. They make me laugh, they make me cry,they make me crazy and they drive me to drink, but mostly they make me smile! So here's to another week without the husband.........we can do it!
Go Army!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Afternoon at the Veterinary Office

Today started out as most of my days do, although a little early (6am). The kids were up, so off to the gym we go, I've really been trying to make it at least 3 days a week. Everything goes smoothly, but at 12:30 I have an appointment with my cousin, so that meant that Ella and Ryan would not have a nap today. I reason to myself that it will be okay because surely they will snooze on the drive home, or on the way to pick up Aubrey from school.

Well that did NOT happen, so I think to myself that I have time to swing by the house, pick up the dog and then pick up Aubrey. I've needed to get the dog in to get a shot for weeks and I can't seem to fit it in. So today of all days I think it will be a great idea to take all three kids to the Vet's office.

We get there and the kids are a little hyper, but not horrible. We have to wait for about 15 minutes and they ended up in time out, and lost some privileges. Then we go into the room with the Vet.....they were so loud and awful that I had to send Aubrey out with his baby brother Ryan. Before I sent them out I asked the veterinarian if he had any tranquilizers for the kids.....he laughed but I was only half kidding! I kept Ella in the room and tried unsuccessfully to have a conversation with the Vet. The dog was shaking, the kids were screaming......what the what???!!!!

Aubrey kept peeking in the room, and I could hear Ryan squealing in the waiting room, so I was about to loose it. In all fairness I have a reason for my madness; my husband is at an Army school for 9 weeks and that alone is making the kids a little nutty.....and me too.

So as I'm trying to hold the dog's leash, pay for the services and get out of there, my three little heathens are pulling sheets of paper off of the tablets that contain advertisements.....I've asked them to stop repeatedly but they keep on. So finally with my wallet open, my purse on the counter I hand Aubrey the car keys and tell him to take the kids to the car and I'll be there in a minute. I'm parked 5 feet from the door, so this should not be difficult. Ella starts shrieking and carrying on just outside the door and the vet says to me, "geez you need to go home and have a glass of wine"...to which I reply, "haha a glass,.....maybe a bottle". It was so embarrassing!

I get in the car and call my husband just so he can hear what he's missing. I know it's cruel but I need some support so if that means he needs to hear what I'm going through then so be it. If he were in a war zone I wouldn't do that, but damn he's just out of state!

The worst part of your kids completely loosing their shit, is that it makes you seem like the worst parent in the world. My kids have done this before, but it has been a while since I've been so embarrassed that I could just crawl under my car! A guy comes in the office while Ella is stomping her feet and screaming outside the door, and says something about the dog being so well behaved. I then told him that I would trade in the kids for pets if I could. He tells me that his 24 year old son has a dog and says that's the only kid he will ever have. He said that his wife doesn't like it, but that's the way it is. I say, "well, it sounds good to me, pets are very manageable". I tell the Vet and his assistant that I'm sorry for the assault on their ears and I leave totally mortified!

Ella and Ryan bawl all the way home, so I tune it out and let them know that there will be no TV tonight and that they will be in bed by 7. They all throw fits about that, and Ella later tells me she's so bored without TV. Isn't that just sad! Then she tries to play her Leapster and the batteries are dead. I laugh because I'm making dinner and I'm not about to change those batteries for her. Needless to say, we had dinner, baths, and they went to bed at 6:45PM! I also told the kids that we will be going back to the vet next week and they will be apologizing for their behavior. I don't know what else I can do.............except maybe drink more??.........What an afternoon.....this is NOT how I imagined my life.............

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Trip from Hell


It's been a while since I've blogged, but we moved from Colorado to Oregon over Christmas break and believe me there hasn't been a dull moment since. This is the story about our "Trip from Hell".

The shortest version is this: We arrived at the Colorado Springs airport with my mom, my three kids, 6 pieces of luggage, two car seats and me, only to find out that our flight had been cancelled....I mean cancelled! Apparently there was some mechanical problem and we had to either fly out the next day or take a bus to Denver (hour and a half drive) and make our connection there. My husband and the dog had already left town in the car, so we really had nowhere to stay. It looked like bussing it to Denver was our only option.

We arrived in Denver with just over an hour to get to our gate, which as we know now, is NOT enough time. We were told they would be expecting us and help to expedite us, but that was a joke. So after fighting with the curb checker and waiting 45 minutes in line to get through security, it really got good.

We began to run to get to the tram, and then ran some more to get to our gate, which was the very last B gate. It seemed like we might not make it. I told mom to run with the kids, and I would run ahead and go tell someone to wait for us. I stopped at two different United Airline gates on the way, gasping for breath, and trying to tell them I needed help. One gate person looked at me and then ignored me. The next woman said she would call ahead, but they wouldn't hold the plane for me. I think as I left I said something like "@itch" under my breath. I just kept running and sweating, carrying the kids back packs and my own stuff. I think we must have went something like 2 miles to get from the security gate to our departure gate.

I saw the plane sitting there, but the door was closed. I ran up to the lady at the gate and asked if we could get on the plane. She looked up from her computer and said "the door is closed ma'am." So I said "well can you open it? I have my mom and three kids running here". She didn't answer me or even look up at me.

At this point I lost it, I just threw all my bags on the ground and sat down and cried. Now this might seem like an over reaction, however I had been in the middle of moving for over a week, we had been staying at (TLF) Temporary lodge Facility, and a crappy one at that, for a week. Six of us and the dog in a small hotel type room. There hadn't been much sleep during that week and now this!!! How unfair life can be!

So my 8 year old finally caught up with me and saw me crying and said, "umm mom, are we going to get on another flight?"
All I could muster was "I don't know son". I really felt exhausted, stressed and sweaty from running to get to a plane that wouldn't let us on!

So then we had to wait in a line to get re-routed to another flight. People all stare at you like you've done something wrong, maybe just overslept and missed your flight.....ummmm HELLOOOOO the airlines screwed up again, I wanted to scream!

After fighting with the lady for several minutes to get us out sooner than 10pm that night (it was noon at this point), she finally moved us to another airline (Frontier) at 6pm. So what to do with 3 kids in the airport for 6 hours?? We'd already been trying to fly for the past 4 hours, and had been on a bus for 1.5 hours...hmmm. Oh yes the one saving grace, the USO club. Since my husband is in the Army, and the great people at the USO volunteer their time, there is a wonderful place in all major airports called the USO that we can go to even when my husband is not traveling with us, as long as you have a military ID card.

So we spent 4 hours there. They have a kids area, video games, free sandwich's, and much much more. Not to say I wouldn't have rather been on a plane home, but it helped us out for sure. We saw people come and go but we apparently stayed for an entire shift. The kids didn't have naps, and this was all starting to really wear on them, so we decided to go wander the airport for the next 2 hours before wheels up.

We walked, ate some more food, I met a wonderful young soldier on his first enlistment in the Army and we chatted for a long time. He was so happy to be a soldier, he said "I can't believe I get paid to do this job". Ella played with her dolls right next to him and sang many of her "original" songs. After a few kid meltdowns, I apologized but assured him it was great birth control for him. He said "I'm in no hurry to have kids ma'am", so I thought, "my work here is done". Hehehe!

We finally boarded the flight and with some crying, fussing, and exhaustion made it home to Portland. Ah home we thought, now things will be alright. Right? Wrong!

We went to the United desk to locate our luggage that should have arrived hours prior, only to find that our bags were in Eugene (2 hours away). I looked like a deer in the headlights...........my mom put her hand on her hip and said "This is ridiculous, this is the worst flight I have ever been on........etc. etc. etc". Finally I looked at my children right outside the door rolling around on the nasty airport floor, the baby flinging his blankie up in the air, and I said, "mom, I don't have time for this", Then I asked the man "what do we need to do now". I had to go two blocks to the other side of baggage claim to file a claim with Frontier. They were not the ones who lost our luggage, but the ones responsible for it anyway because they flew us home. Exasperated, I decided to soldier up and tell mom to go get the kids in the car (my dad was waiting outside), and I would file the claim.

In the midst of landing my poor husband with horrible timing, called to see where we were. I think I might have said some things I shouldn't have, like "if you ever ask me to move again, I will leave you", and "I hate you right now", and a few other things until I recognized that just because he drove 12 hours and got to Idaho before we landed in Portland 12 hours after we started, for what should have been a 2.5 hour trip, I shouldn't take it out on him. I believe that's when I told him I would call him later. Sorry hubs!

Needless to say, Frontier was wonderful, they took the information and gave me some travel toothbrushes and said they would deliver the luggage the next day. So with one more diaper in my purse, no clothes or PJ's for the kids, we put my mom's T-Shirts on them, put them to bed. I did the only thing I could do. Pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the couch and laugh! This was only the beginning, the movers hadn't shown up with our stuff yet....................