Can this all happen to me you might wonder......YES it can!!

Today started off like most days, the rush of getting Ella and Aubrey ready for school and out the door. The dog jumped on Wyatt's leather chair and promptly puked. Luckily she missed the chair and it hit the floor. Ahhhh it's finally quiet.....relatively quiet because Ryan is hollering at me and I'm not sure what language he was speaking in, but "me no understand" so he continues to holler.

Never the less I decide to enjoy my cup of coffee which is by now cold. So I get a refill and prepare to sit down. I set the cup on the kitchen table and turn my back to get something, and Ryan reaches up to grab the handle and proceeds to dump it all out. I guess the silver lining is that I put so much cream in my coffee, it wasn't very hot so he didn't get burned but it made quite a mess. It dripped down in the cracks of the table, and all over the floor, wall, and chairs. Major sticky mess there, so I take a deep breath and tell Ryan "don't touch mommy's coffee it's HOT", and then clean it up.

Then among my errands I drop the dog off at doggy daycare so she can get used to this new place before we board her. After picking up Aubrey from school we swing by to pick the dog up for the day. She's excited to see us, but clearly Po'd that we left her there all day. We get home and the kids stay in the car so I can let the dog go outside before our play date in ten minutes.

I watch the dog to make sure she goes to the bathroom. I wait and wait and finally Hailey (the dog) squats, and squats, and squats some more. She never went but was trying to reach her bum, so I knew what I was in for. I go outside and see that the damn dog has managed to get smashed poop all over in her hair. OMG at this point I've got Ryan screaming in the car, a play date to be at in 5 minutes and crap all over the dogs bum!!! I have to give her back half a bath in the laundry room sink so I grab the gloves. I set the dog down for a brief moment and of course she hops on the blanket on the couch and taints that, so I grab that and throw it in the washer, and get the dog in the sink. At this point Aubrey comes in to investigate why we aren't leaving.

Then we go to my friends house to "relax" while the kids are playing. Hahaha, that is funny, the kids were so nuts today we didn't get much time....okay any time to talk. We were interrupted by crying, Ryan hollering at me while stuck at the top of their play structure, and Aubrey crying because he and his friend super soaked the girls and they were crying. It was a mess! My friend said it best when she said "well, we tried". There were 3 women including me, and 7 kids and we all agreed we need to go out next time.........without the kids!

Domestic goddess.....I say YES!

I know that all moms tend to be overachievers. Not because we necessarily want to be, but because we have to be! There are days that I'm more productive than others, but some days the only time I sit is to write this blog. This morning Ryan woke me up at 5 am, which is an improvement from the all nighters lately due to his ear infection.

So I'm up,....oh no cramps! Great! I look on the bright side that I can get it over with before our trip. I get everyone breakfast, , and Aubrey and Wyatt out the door. Then I realize that since I'm going to Costco today I really need to order some pictures online and pick them up. So with all of the bickering between Ella and Ryan, it takes a while. Then it's upstairs to get them dressed. I gather up all of the things we need just to leave the house, diaper, wipes, water for the kids, snacks, and keys........found em! Then I smell something not so good, so it's upstairs to take Ryan's shoes back off, and change the diaper. He is on antibiotics for his ear infection and that is apparently making for some soggy poop conditions....ahhhh!

Back downstairs, into the car, and off we go! Stop at Target to pick up a birthday present for Ella's friend's party on Saturday afternoon, black shorts for Aubrey for his track meet on Saturday morning, and off we go to Costco! Costco is the usual zoo, so I make a detour into the liquor store attached to Costco because I'm out of red wine and that is a crisis! Here in Colorado you can't buy wine at the grocery store, you have to go to a liquor store. Then Ella asks "mom is that all your getting"? I kind of laugh because I've got three bottles in my cart and maybe she expects me to buy more....

Then Costco here we come, pick up the pictures which are done early, whew! Then off to get the groceries, sample a few things, listen to some fussing from the kids, sample a few more foods, and check out! Then Ella starts in asking if she can skip the nap. Yesterday she went to the zoo on a field trip and then Tae Kwon Do last night after Wyatt pinched her leg in the car seat buckle and we had major screaming going on....needless to say she was exhausted last night and still is a bit tired today. I know my sweet Ella and when she's tired and you can"t tell her in a public place that she CANNOT skip the nap she starts to wail. So I simply say "we'll see" and change the subject. I saved the "You have to take a nap today" speech for once we got home.

On the drive home I call the husband to see if he wants me to pick him up for lunch, my secret plan being that he can help unload the massive amount of groceries I have in the car. Of course today of all days he can't because his co-worker is out of the office. "Fine" I say.

So the kids are running wild, the dog too and I'm unloading the groceries and trying to put them away, run out and pick up dog poop so the kids don't step in it, and get the kids lunch so we can get to the nap. Then I pick Ryan up out of the high chair and there are two brown butt prints on the chair, and I realize he's had diarrhea AGAIN and it's through the shorts and everywhere.....so off we go to change everything out again. Then change out the laundry for the 2nd time today, include the newest poopy items, pick up all of the million little pieces of paper strewn all over the house (Ella's new hobbie, paper everywhere). All of this before I have to head back to school to help coach track practice!

I realize that it's after one o'clock and I haven't had lunch, a shower, or anytime to myself. And then there's me already thinking of what I'll cook for dinner tonight, the baths I have to give the kids, the homework that Aubrey will have,.............and then one more thought is in my head.........Will I complete all of these tasks in time to watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and have a glass of wine tonight? I surely hope so because I am a domestic goddess!

Oh and the husband just walked into the house for lunch and said "where's my food woman"? He's kidding of course but if looks could kill!

The guitar recital

Tonight was Aubrey's ill fated guitar recital. So to do this story justice I must share with you, that this arts night/recital was scheduled to happen in April. So last month after shoveling in a frozen pizza, and getting everyone dressed up, in the car and down to the school, we arrive to find no one there? Wyatt jokingly asks if we have the right night. So Aubrey and I knock on the music teachers door and she says that it was rescheduled because of the snow storm north of us, and asked Aubrey if he heard the announcement on the loudspeaker after school. Okay I have a first grader, he rarely listens to me so I'm sure he missed that one. Instead of being mad we decided to take the kids out for ice cream which was fun, and later Aubrey said "mom, I'm glad it got canceled because if it didn't then we wouldn't have had ice cream". To which I replied "this is true son".

Fast forward to tonight. I pick Aubrey up from school and announce that we have to get home, have a snack and head to
Tae Kwon Do, and then off to the arts night recital. He says he has a stomach ache and can hardly move his stomach hurts so bad. So I ignore it and when we get home he uses the bathroom and then lays on the couch moaning and groaning. So needless to say we don't go to Tae Kwon Do.

I make pancakes for dinner because I haven't been to the grocery store yet and we're out of everything, then it's off to stop at the Class 6 (convenience store on base) and it's NOT so convenient. We have to pick up cookies for tonight (I had only remembered an hour before we had to leave) and the line is really long. So finally we're off to the school for the reschedule of arts night. Also known as "the ill fated guitar recital".

We get there and Aubrey is getting tuned up and ready to go, Wyatt, the kids and I are looking at the art in the hallway waiting for the musical part to begin. One of the teachers told me that Aubrey is going to be quite the musician because he headed back to the guitar room because "he didn't want to pop a string before the concert". She said he even had the lingo down.

So we are waiting in the gym for the show to begin and we watch the show choir, classical band, a soloist, and finally the guitar band comes out. I'm trying to keep Ryan from cracking his head on the bleachers and Wyatt says "Aubrey doesn't have his guitar". "What"? I reply. Then I see that he's sitting in a chair without his guitar. So as the music teacher is talking to the audience I head up to the gym floor to ask what is going on and she sees me. She then says "oh Aubrey let me get you my guitar". Aubrey mouths that his guitar is broken. I'm thinking he "popped a string" but then Wyatt says that the teacher would let him play with one broken string, so then I'm worried about the condition of the guitar.

A little back story on the guitar, Wyatt and I bought it at the school auction and then had to go trade it for a smaller one that he could play better and now three months later it was all for not.

Back to the story, so after the concert the music teacher came up to us and said that she wasn't in the music room at the time, but some parents were and she didn't know what happened exactly, but that the guitar was no longer with us. I'm in a bit of shock, but she explained that Aubrey was so upset. She told him he could play her guitar, and that helped, but he looked upset so I tried to remain calm.

Aubrey said that one of the older kids (he doesn't know their name) knocked his guitar off the table it was on, and then a little later he picked it up and then dropped it and the neck snapped off. So needless to say, Aubrey "hates himself" as he put it because he broke his guitar and now he can't take lessons. He was also very upset that the older kids laughed at him, he's so sensitive that it broke my heart.

So I am sad about the lost money, the broken guitar and my son's disappointment but at least he wants to play, so I'm trying to look on the bright side! For this is the life we have chosen to share with our three kids who break the hell out of all of our stuff!

Ground hog's day

You would have to read the previous post for this one to make sense, but this morning I woke up to a big poopy mess in the mud room from our lovely dog......again! Oh do I wish it was mothers day again so I could have avoided all of that. Our dog is not well although after cleaning up that mess, and giving her a bath she seems perfectly fine. I will pray tonight, and I will pray hard that she does not give me a toxic mess like that again I just can't take it! ugh!

A Mother's Day Surprise!

My husband had told me yesterday that he wanted to cook me breakfast for Mother's Day, now my husband doesn't do much cooking but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth, so of course I agreed. He woke up today about 7am. I laid in bed a few more minutes then thought I should get a shower as long as he's cooking this morning. After my shower I go downstairs to find the pancake batter made up, but the rest was undone and a mess. Now it had been a little over a half an hour since I started getting ready so I was a bit confused.

The story from my husband Wyatt goes something like this: He would have had breakfast ready before now, but when he got up and went into the mud room to let the dog out, she had crapped all over the place. He cleaned up that nasty mess, and then tried to get breakfast going again. Then low and behold the baby woke up and started crying so he went upstairs to get him, only to find him covered in poop coming out of the diaper. After he cleaned up that mess he came back down and tried again to get things going for breakfast. So the Mother's Day surprise was really for my husband.

At this point I'm so happy that I missed all the poop adventures this morning and thankful that I knew nothing of it while I enjoyed a long shower! So I don't want to get in his way when he's trying to prepare a meal for me because it's so rare, but after he burnt the 8th pancake I had to step in. I decided the best thing to do was to make more batter and throw away the burnt ones. Needless to say, I have to give credit to Wyatt for dealing with the messes this morning and even though I had to take over breakfast and get the kids ready, it was a valiant effort!

Then we went to church and the kids were a little on the cranky side, so all I kept thinking was get me home so my Mothers Day gift to myself can begin! Yes, this year I requested no gifts. All I really wanted was to go shopping by myself! So I was out of here around 12:30 and I didn't get home until after 4pm! It was so wonderful, it was just me and my thoughts! I saw all of these moms shopping with their husbands and their kids.....now what fun is that? You know that the kids and husbands were miserable. I just thought I'd spare everyone and get out on my own! It was wonderful and I really enjoyed my day after all! It started out a little bumpy but it got better, and even though the kids were still cranky when I got home to cook for them, I realized that I am really lucky to have such a great family.......and I vow to appreciate them everyday! Well, most days........well when I'm not livid at them!

So Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! I know I appreciate my mom so much more now, then before I had kids!

The Babysitter debacle

Is it really that hard to find a good babysitter these days? Apparently it is! Since we are military and in Colorado where my babysitting options are limited I was so excited that there are two girls ages 13 and 17 that live a few houses away....or so I thought. The names have been changed to protect the GUILTY!!!! Sorry, I digress, anyhoo, I have had both of the girls babysit a few times and the oldest girl,( we'll call her Daisy), was scheduled to babysit for me about two months ago when my husband was out of town. It was a Saturday and I had to get all three kids to my son Aubreys' cub scout Pinewood Derby race from 9-12. Then I scheduled Daisy to watch just the baby Ryan for a couple of hours while I took the other two to a birthday party from 1-3. The party was at a crazy loud place called Itz. It's like Chuck E Cheese for older kids. Anyway, I called her to tell her we were on our way home from the scouting event and she told me she totally forgot about it and wasn't at home. OMG, I let her know I wasn't happy and never asked her to babysit again.

The younger girl, (we'll call her Dixie), has been a good babysitter, and seemed more responsible than Daisy. So I asked her to babysit Ryan so I could work on a school function from 1-3 on Friday. I asked her this last week, and she said YES.

So this week I call her to see if she could possibly stay until 4 on Friday in case Wyatt was running late. She hummed and hawed a bit and then asked me to call her back in five minutes. A little strange, but they are STRANGE so I said, "okay", and I called her back. She said she didn't have any information for me yet, but she was going to a sleep over that day and wasn't sure what time that started, etc etc. So I'm thinking that she can babysit until 3 but not later. I asked her to call me back that evening. Well that was Monday night and today (Tuesday) I still hadn't heard from her. She is home because she is home schooled. I said Dixie, you didn't call me back, to which she replied "oh I totally forgot", and I said "so what is the deal for Friday"? She said that she talked to her mom, and her mom said she could go to the sleepover so she would rather do, that and she was sorry but she couldn't babysit for me.

What the hell? I mean I don't know what came over me but I lost it. She is only 13 so I kept it clean but I was very firm with her. I told her that I really liked her and her sister, and I liked it when they babysat my kids, but she could tell her sister, that I would not have either of them babysit for me again. I told her that when you make a commitment to do something then you stick with it even if something better comes along. I also told her that I asked her to babysit a week ago so I would be sure I had coverage to work on my sons' school event. Then I said the only possibly inappropriate thing, and told her I was screwed for Friday because of this. I told her, her sister had let me down and now she had and I was very unhappy about this.........

About this time I realized she had said nothing, so I said "well have fun this weekend"! and she said "okay bye". So that does it! I guess I felt this girl needed some schooling because the home schooling her mother is doing is NOT working! When I was a kid, my parents taught me that if you make a commitment to babysit for someone you honor it, even if something better comes along in the meantime. Is there no respect and honor in this world? I mean Dixie just told me she would rather go to the sleepover, to hell with the fact she told me she would watch my kid!! AAAAHHHHH!

So my wonderful husband will be taking a half a day off Friday so I can keep my promise to my son Aubrey and the school. It's time for us Generation Xers to school these young pups!

What a Sunday!

I'm certain that my kids want to drive me nuts on a daily basis but today was over the top. It all started out so ambitiously by going to church as a family. Our baby Ryan was really tired, recovering from a cold all week and just crabby, so Wyatt ended up taking him out of church for the last half hour.

Then we head to McDonalds ( a Sunday treat for the kids if they're good in church) and then home. Everyone ate lunch, and I decided to head to Whole Foods during the one hour I had before we had to be at a friend's house for a play date. I get home at 1pm, the time we're supposed to be at the friends house, and the husband is playing the Wii, Aubrey and Ella have no socks on (it's snowing outside in May!) and the house is trashed! So I'm unloading the groceries, telling the kids to hurry and get ready so we can go. We get to our friends house and knock on the door in the snow, and no one is home. I figured that my friend and I had our wires crossed on the time, and tell the kids to get in the car. My oldest starts half-crying and saying it's not fair, blah blah blah. I say, "I can't help that they're not home and we'll just wait and see if they call". On our way down the street they are getting home from church.....phew! Now we can avoid the near meltdown and let them go play.

So after I pick them up, they are a bit tired and crabby but my mom want's to skype with the kids, so we do. That can sometimes be disastrous because they all start hollering that it's their turn, and Ryan always wants to see the screen so it gets ugly.

We get through that mostly unscathed, and I swear all Hell breaks loose. All at once all three of our offspring are bawling. Aubrey wants to play the Wii and thinks I've said "no", and Ella, slipped on her sweater, and Ryan has been crying for over an hour for no apparent reason.....oh wait a minute, he wanted to vacuum. We got it out for him and then he kept crying because he couldn't make it work and we put it away.

I was trying to get dinner ready and I swear they all kept bickering, crying, hollering, and more crying. Wyatt tried to take Ryan outside to distract him, but he would not be deterred! So after my loosing it just a bit and telling them all that after they ate dinner, they would be going to bed, etc etc etc......I ate in silence and just tried to go to my "happy place" and wait for them to finish their dinner.

So when all was said and done, they were all in their beds by 6:30PM, a new record! Ella is the only one that came downstairs because as she says "I want to tell you something", but she always does that, so all in all it's been quite a Sunday!

Here's to hoping tomorrow is better, I for one need it to be!